In early 2013, comedian Rosie Wilby found herself at a crossroads with everything she’d ever believed about romantic relationships. When people asked, ‘who’s the love of your life?’ there was no simple answer. Did they mean her former flatmate who she’d experienced the most ecstatic, heady, yet ultimately doomed, fling with? Or did they mean the deep, lasting companionate partnerships that gave her a sense of belonging and family? Surely, most human beings need both.
Mixing humour, heartache and science, Is Monogamy Dead? details Rosie’s very personal quest to find out why Western society is clinging to a concept that doesn’t work that well for some of us and is laden with ambiguous assumptions.
I do not very often read non-fiction books, but this one fascinated me and I was very happy to have the chance to immerse myself in it.
Is monogamy dead? That’s a very good question. I think it depends on who you ask. For some it will indeed be dead, for others it will be alive and kicking and for others it might not even be born yet. I certainly does not mean the same to everybody. It’s not always the explanation you would find in a dictionary that will apply if you would ask different people.
I guess it does not matter what the word means, as long as the partners involved in the relationship are on the same page. What feels like betrayal to one couple, might seem normal to another one.
The most important thing is that you feel good in your romance and what you do and how you do it is up to you.
I have found myself agreeing with a lot of the things in the book and I loved the way the author put the spotlight on heterosexual and homosexual relationships, because there is only one thing that counts : happiness and it does not matter who your partner is or who (dis)approves of him or her. Life is too short to forsake love with the one you want to be with. 4 stars.
Thank you, Rosie Wilby for sharing those personal things with us and I hope you have found what you were looking for.
About the author
Rosie Wilby is an award-winning comedian who has appeared many times on BBC Radio 4 programmes including Woman’s Hour, Loose Ends and Four Thought, TV programmes including Good Morning Britain, at major festivals including Latitude and Glastonbury and in the finals of several major comedy competitions.
Her first book Is Monogamy Dead? was shortlisted for the Diva Literary Awards 2017, longlisted for the Polari First Book Prize 2018 and followed her TEDx talk of the same name, articles for The Guardian, Sunday Times and New Statesman and a trilogy of internationally-acclaimed solo shows investigating love and relationships. A gripping account of Rosie’s very personal quest to grapple with the psychology of modern relationships, the book is a mix of memoir, science, interviews with friends embracing non-traditional relationship structures and the results to her survey asking ‘What counts as cheating?’
Rosie tours a comedy talk based on the book around literary and science festivals, comedy clubs and venues all over the world. She also presents The Breakup Monologues podcast, which has been recommended by Chortle, The Observer, Metro and Time Out.